Overcoming Jealousy: 11 Steps to Strengthen Your Relationship
How to overcome jealousy in a relationship: Any given person will likely experience jealousy within the course of his or her relationship. Of course jealousy is not something healthy – most often it is associated with low self-esteem, or lack of trust, or both; however it can be a good starting point if it is approached correctly. Jealousy depends on the individual’s inner doubts, past events or factors from the outside world which should therefore, be addressed through direct communication with the intention of creating a healthy working basis for handling jealousy. Here you can read about the practical ways to deal with jealousy and make the bond between two people healthier and happier.
1. Acknowledge & Openly Talk About Jealousy:
It could be time to speak openly with your partner if you’ve detected feelings of jealousy. It’s important to communicate! Do some self-reflection because envy is often an internal conflict. Then tell your partner what you’ve found. Establish limits for both the relationship and yourself by being honest about your feelings and what causes you discomfort.
Healthy jealousy is exhibited by a spouse who is open to discussing their feelings. Saying something like, “When the man at the party was talking to you, I felt jealous.” A healthy way to convey envy is to say, “I felt like he was flirting, and it made me feel uncomfortable.” The way you handle your own envy will determine whether the relationship succeeds or fails.
2. Recognize That Jealousy Is Usually a Sign of Insecurity:
Everyone has experienced jealousy at some point. Feeling threatened by someone else is a fairly regular occurrence in our daily lives. But if we’re not careful, jealousy can become a terrible force. Being aware that jealousy is typically an indication of insecurity can make us more conscious of our emotions and social interactions. Maybe we can stand back and reevaluate the issue if we see that we are feeling jealous. Do we have a fear of anything? Do we sense danger? By taking the time to recognize our emotions, we may confront them directly instead of allowing them to fester. And we may strengthen our bonds with others and ourselves once we can accomplish it.
3. Work on Managing Your Emotions:
Emotions are not necessarily commands; they can be information. This implies that you can feel jealous, admit that it makes you uncomfortable, and seek the right kind of help without acting rashly or accusingly right away. We can ask our spouse or partners for help in a relationship, but we shouldn’t expect them to control our emotions for us. As part of your personal inner work, learn to identify, accept, experience, and endure your feelings.
4. Keep a Relationship Journal:
Writing in a journal provides a secure space for you to express your feelings of jealousy, both physically and emotionally. Since your notebook will not pass judgment on your emotions, you have the chance to delve deeper and examine your frustrations and insecurities.
When journaling, consider how you relate to these important questions:
Is your lover truly the one you should be with?
Did they specifically do something to make them jealous?
Are you carrying baggage from your previous relationship into your new one?
Are you undermining yourself?
5. Before Pointing Fingers, First Look Inward:
Everyone’s expectations for partnerships are shaped by their unique life experiences. Various prior experiences in sexual, familial, and friendship relationships might make us skeptical, insecure, or reliant in the present. Your companion may become defensive or even insecure if you level accusations at them. It’s best to stop and think about what in your background is causing you to presume the worst of your partner when you see those jealousy-related thoughts arise. After that, you can utilize I-statements to describe your feelings and the reasons behind them without drawing judgments or placing blame.
6. Explore Underlying Issues:
Determine the source of your feelings before speaking with your partner. Accept accountability for your actions and resolve to deal with your fears.
Finding personal values like honesty, compassion, or communication is one way to investigate low self-esteem. This enables you to analyze your relationship priorities and identify your strong points. In the partnership, this could lessen upsetting emotions of jealousy and overanalyzing.
7. Remember That Experiencing Jealousy Doesn’t Always Mean That Your Partner Is Doing Something Wrong:
If you are experiencing envy, you may think that this is a warning indication that something is amiss. Ever hear someone claim, “I just KNEW he was cheating, so I went through his phone?” Naturally, there are occasions when one’s feelings and the behavior of others coincide, and many individuals have followed their instincts and discovered that boundaries were being breached in their relationships. However, jealousy alone is not always a reliable indicator of dishonest or disrespectful behavior. Even if something isn’t happening, it could indicate that you’re afraid of it. This is information that you can use without taking immediate action!
8. Voice Your Concerns:
If your partner’s behavior (or someone else’s behavior toward your relationship) makes you feel envious, don’t be afraid to discuss it with them right away. They might not have understood your feelings or been aware of the behavior. Take advantage of the chance to talk about or go over any relationship boundaries.
If you trust your partner but are unsure due to past relationship experiences, look for ways to make things better for both of you. Your partner is choosing to be with you, so keep that in mind. To make it harder for you to compare yourself to your partner, you might want to muffle their Instagram if there is someone in their life that you are envious of.
9. Start Appreciating Yourself More:
Two of the most frequent causes of jealousy are low self-esteem and insecurity. Feeling inadequate for your mate is a frightening emotion. Because they believe they are living in the shadow of their partner’s ex, some people have a tendency to feel envious. You will instinctively feel that the relationship and your self-worth are under danger for these reasons.
One effective strategy is to try writing down all the qualities you and your partner appreciate about you. With this list, you can even enlist your partner’s assistance. Another option is to go through your social media accounts, like Instagram, and unfollow folks that make you feel uneasy, particularly if you are always comparing yourself to other people. This can gradually help you build your self-esteem and free yourself from inferiority complexes.
10. Build Healthy Coping Skills:
Though intentionally ignoring prompted jealousy won’t help you resolve the underlying problems, it can prevent you from acting on your emotions in a negative manner.
Here are some beneficial coping mechanisms:
Practice deep breathing
progressive relaxation of the muscles
An exercise in mindfulness
11. Talk to a Therapist:
Do not be afraid to seek help from a therapist if you are having trouble controlling your feelings or thoughts of jealousy on your own. It’s not always easy to talk about envy, and at first you may feel even more awkward, but a good therapist will understand that jealousy is common and will treat you with compassion and understanding.
The following are indicators that you might wish to consult a therapist:
- Fixated or obsessive thoughts are a result of jealousy.
- When jealous thoughts become uncontrollable or obtrusive
- Violent impulses or thoughts
- Problematic actions like constantly checking in on your partner on social media, spying on them, or following them
- Your daily life is adversely affected by jealousy, which keeps you from concentrating on your work, hobbies, etc.
Conclusion:
Love rivalry is not always a bad thing though it mostly presents itself in a negative manner. In this article from Healthline, it is clearly illustrated on how one can change jealousy into an opportunity to strengthen a relationship and one’s self. Again recall, asking for help is not a vice rather it is a virtue, you can ask either your partner or your therapist. In general, I mean the conscious attempt at making a jealous person not a threat to the relationship might be healthy for the relationship and allows the person to take charge of the relationship and make it a secure one intentionally.
Source: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/jealousy-in-a-relationship/
