How can you build trust ?
For as long as I can remember, trust issues were a live-wire presence in my life. It wasn’t as if I had never been betrayed; rather, I seemed unable to trust people to be good and reliable. People’s intentions were always something that raised my doubts. I feared opening up would leave me hurt in the long run. To add to this, my fear of being let down began getting so deep within me. Even my personal life and professional life were gradually affected. I realized I needed to learn how to build trust in my relationships.
If you read this, most probably you feel you can relate to it somehow. The sense of trust either seems to have disappeared or feels so hard to be found by other people around you. For me, yes, I too had been through it. Sometimes it got too overwhelming and isolating to me. Self-reflection coupled with therapy, along with small actions over time, gave me the foundation for rebuilding it. I started within myself first, then with others.
It may be my path, but methods I used while making my way from trust issues toward healing aren’t unique to me. They’re steps that others can take too, whether for rebuilding trust in others or self. In this blog, I’m going to share what helped me. Hopefully, that can guide someone else on that same path of healing and strong connections on how to build trust.
1. Acknowledging My Fear and Vulnerability
Admitting that I was a person who had trust issues was my first step. The hard truth to admit is that my skepticism and defensiveness were keeping me from developing any real connection or bond with other people. Coming to that understanding helped me know that trust wasn’t built in one day. It needs to be exposed first. Acceptance for me comes in understanding that vulnerability is not weakness, but rather growth. Through growth, people find connections, which is crucial for learning how to build trust.
2. Therapy: A Safe Space to Heal and Build Trust
Seeking therapy was one of the biggest changes in my life. I was carrying the weight of past betrayals around me for years. I was stuck in a cycle of mistrust. Therapy provided a safe space for unpacking my feelings, exploring the root causes of my trust issues, and beginning to heal.
Through therapy I learned that much of my irrational fear of people hurting me centered around past circumstances I had failed to work out. It did not just make sense in that context of hurt or betrayal through people, but those patterns of low self-esteem which were developed during those times. Working with a therapist allowed me to confront these fears. I began to reframe the way I viewed trust. It helped me understand how to build trust.
My therapist helped me understand that trust isn’t about one-size-fits-all. It’s not even about expected perfection from others but about giving people a chance to show up in a reliable way for you. This allows learning through a healthy approach to how to assess trustworthiness and set boundaries that feel safe and empowering.
3. Starting Small: Building Trust in Everyday Interactions
I had to start from small, everyday interactions to rebuild that trust. I worked on being open and honest in conversations with people, even when it didn’t feel right. It helped me notice people who were reliable even in the unseen moments. They respected my boundaries and followed through with consistency, an essential part of how to build trust.
In these small moments I was practicing giving people the benefit of the doubt. At first, I trusted people in little things, such as asking for help with a small task at hand or sharing a private experience of mine. Every good experience was a step toward rebuilding trust, which had previously been broken. Trust wasn’t a thing I could demand; rather, I needed to win it, just as others had to win mine.
4. Healthy boundaries:
I used to think that being trusting means letting people into my life with no limits at all. That is not correct, though, because trust really thrives only when boundaries are respected. For me, that meant setting limits so that I could feel secure. At the same time, sending a message to others that my well-being matters and that mistreatment is unacceptable.
By setting these boundaries, I began to feel more comfortable letting people into my life. I realized that trust wasn’t about blind faith; it was about mutual respect and understanding. By communicating my boundaries clearly, I found that most people were more than willing to respect them. Learning to set these boundaries was a significant part of understanding how to build trust.
5. Forgiving Myself and Others
One of the most difficult things for me to rebuild the trust was the act of forgiving-not just the others, but myself. For holding onto the fear and those times I had pushed people away due to insecurity, I had to learn to forgive myself. I had to learn how to forgive those people who had caused me pain in the past as well. Forgiveness didn’t mean forgetting, nor did it mean that I was excusing their behavior. It simply meant releasing the grip that resentment had on my heart.
Once I forgave, the heavy weight of anger and fear could fall, opening up a chance for me to trust again. This proved essential in learning how to build trust.
6. Consistency and Patience
As I started opening up, I soon realized that trust is not something that one can build overnight. It comes with time and is developed through the consistency of actions. I needed to be patient with myself and others. There were setbacks sometimes, and in those moments, I doubted myself or others. However, it was in these moments that I learned to treat them as learning opportunities in my journey of how to build trust.
Therapy also taught me how to handle my expectations. I learned that true trust indeed takes time because it bases itself on the actions of each individual. Moreover, it also depends on the stories you share and conversations you have with one another. It’s not about expecting perfection but more about giving people a chance to prove themselves through their work.
Building trust is never an easy feat, especially for people who were hurt in the past. But time, introspection, and the willingness to be vulnerable does bring the potential for rebuilding trust with people as well as within yourself. The therapy was pivotal in helping me understand where my issue was rooted from and providing the tools for approaching healthy ways of trusting people. In a nutshell, today I would say I am definitely more open than I ever could have been with trust. And though I still have my moments of doubt, I no longer let fear control my relationships. Trust, for me, is now a journey — one that I’m willing to take, step by step, with those who prove that they’re worthy of it.
