An individual may experience intense grief, a challenging emotional state that can dominate one's thoughts and make it difficult, if not impossible, to focus on anything else. For some, the overwhelming nature of these emotions may lead them to suppress or mask their feelings, either intermittently or consistently.

Grief can often mirror the symptoms of depression, and it's not uncommon for individuals to develop depression in the aftermath of a significant loss. If coping with a major loss becomes overwhelming, seeking assistance from a healthcare professional, such as a doctor, is strongly advised.

In the immediate aftermath of a death, those left behind often grapple with shock, numbness, and denial, especially if the loss was unexpected. As the reality of the death sets in, feelings of intense sadness, emptiness, loneliness, anger, or guilt may emerge. These emotions can be painful, persistent, or overwhelming, often coming in waves that may temporarily recede before resurfacing. However, with time, these emotions tend to gradually diminish.

Responses to grief are highly individualized, with common feelings including sadness, shock, denial, numbness, anger, guilt, blame, and sometimes even relief. Grieving individuals may exhibit different behaviours than usual, experiencing difficulty concentrating, withdrawal from regular activities, engaging in substance use, or having thoughts of self-harm or an inability to carry on.

Grief can take a toll on physical health, leading to exhaustion and weakened immune systems, making individuals more susceptible to illness. It can impact appetite, sleep, and contribute to various physical discomforts such as headaches and body aches.

On a spiritual level, individuals may have dreams about their loved ones, seeking meaning and reevaluating their spiritual beliefs in the wake of loss.

While some people experience post-traumatic growth, finding wisdom, maturity, and new meaning in life after grief, others may struggle with complicated grief. Prolonged grief, also known as complex or complicated grief, is an enduring form of intense grief that makes it challenging for individuals to cope with the loss. Rather than progressing toward a more positive outlook, thoughts may become fixated in a dark, sorrowful place.

Those experiencing prolonged grief may feel emotionally paralyzed, unable to envision a future beyond the pain. Characteristics of prolonged grief include confusion, overwhelming sadness, extreme thoughts or behaviours, and an enduring longing for the past. Individuals in this state may find themselves trapped in a cycle of preoccupation with memories of the deceased, making the future seem bleak and despairing.

How to Take Care of the Physical Side of Grief? 

Make Conscious Use of your Feelings.

When you are mourning, your first priority is expressing your feelings. It's been believed that you cannot heal if you are emotionless. As a result, it's critical to allow yourself to experience your emotions. Engage in self-kindness frequently. You don't have to control this part of your life, particularly while you're going through a grieving season. It's up to you how you choose to communicate your feelings. Another excellent way to connect with your emotions is to join a support group at a nearby community or religious centre.  

Engage in Daily Mindful Movement

Engaging in daily physical activity helps alleviate the somatic suffering associated with bereavement. Exercises that target the mind and body, such as yoga, tai chi, or qigong, can be especially beneficial in calming the body and counteracting the negative effects of stress and anxiety. According to research, various types of exercise reduce the activation of genes that cause inflammation in the body, which has a molecular effect (Bui, 2017).  

Engage in Mindfulness

Developing a meditation routine, engaging in breathwork, or going on an outdoor stroll or walk are some other suggestions for mindful movement. These pursuits help reduce anxiety, melancholy, and self-pity. Ask a friend to help, or sign up for a fitness class. 

How to Take Care of Yourself while Grieving? 

Rely on Friends and Family

Seek support from friends and family during this challenging time. Even if you typically pride yourself on being strong and independent, now is the moment to rely on those who care about you. Instead of avoiding them, bring your friends and loved ones closer, spend quality face-to-face time with them, and be open to the assistance they offer. Often, people genuinely want to help but may not know how, so communicate your needs—whether it's a comforting presence, a listening ear, or simply someone to spend time with. If you feel that you lack regular in-person connections, remember that it's never too late to cultivate new friendships.

Acknowledge your Feelings

Confront your emotions head-on. While attempting to suppress grief is an option, it's not a sustainable one. Healing requires acknowledging the pain. Avoiding feelings of sadness and loss merely extends the grieving process. Unresolved grief may contribute to complications such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and health issues.

Engage in Creativity 

Express your emotions in a tangible or creative manner. Even if discussing your loss with others is challenging, consider documenting your thoughts and feelings in a journal. Alternatively, channel your emotions into creative outlets like creating a scrapbook or engaging in volunteer work related to your loss.

Engage in Hobbies and Activities

Continue to engage in your hobbies and interests. Returning to familiar activities that bring joy and foster connections can provide comfort and assist in coming to terms with your loss, facilitating the grieving process.

Grief can also often be compared to a silent companion that emerges in the aftermath of loss. It must not be confused for weakness, but rather a testament to the depth of our connections with those around us. Another way to understand the physical side of grief in a more relatable manner is as follows: 

Grief as a Roller Coaster 

Grief is like a roller coaster, taking lots of turns, ups and downs through various angles, nooks and corners. It manifests as sadness, the ache of loss, anger, the injustice that comes with separation, guilt, and the weight of unanswered questions. 

If you experience grief this way, you can do an emotional check in with yourself.Take a moment to reflect on your emotional state. What turns, ups and downs and angles are you grieving today?  Acknowledge them without judgement; each emotion is a valid expression of your unique journey. 

Grief as a Canvas 

Often our bodies become a canvas upon which grief paints its physical manifestations. It may appear as a lump in the throat, a heaviness in the chest, or the pit in the stomach. Fatigue, changes in appetite, and disrupted sleep patterns are the more common colours of the canvas and are reminders that our emotional and physical well-being are interconnected.

In order to relieve some of these feelings, a body scan activity can be done where one focuses attention on each part of the body. Any sensations and tensions that come up can be noticed. This activity can help be more attuned with your body. 

Grief as a Game 

Grief can often be a mind game where a mental dialogue is constantly going on. This game can also involve memories. It might be the replaying of shared moments, the negotiation with "what ifs," or the silent conversations with those we’ve lost. The mind becomes a storyteller, weaving narratives of love, loss, and the enduring legacy of those we hold dear.  

To conclude, its important to keep in mind that everyone's grief is personal and subjective. There is no one particular way to heal that works for everyone. It is about doing what works for you. No one should tell you to move on or get over it. Allow yourself to feel without any judgment or sabotage. It's acceptable to experience anger, to express your emotions, to cry or not to cry. Similarly, it's permissible to find moments of joy, to laugh, and to let go when you feel ready. Heal at your own time.

Today, let's engage ourselves to explore healing with art. 

Before we begin, press play, close your eyes and follow

or

Read along if you wish to. 

Imagine a serene and comfortable space where you feel safe and at ease. This might be a cosy room filled with soft light or a peaceful outdoor setting. Picture yourself in this space, surrounded by an atmosphere of tranquillity.

Sit down, relax and breathe in. 

In this creative world that you have created for yourself , visualise an array of artistic tools in front of you — brushes, paints, pencils, or any medium that resonates with you. Select the one that draws you in, that feels like an extension of your inner self.

With your chosen tool in hand, start to create on the blank canvas. There's no need for a specific image or form; let your intuition guide your movements. Allow the colours and shapes to flow organically from within.

As you engage in this artistic expression, notice the sensations in your body. Pay attention to the emotions that surface. Are there moments of joy, surprise, or perhaps a gentle release of tension?

Take a step back and observe your creation. This is more than just a creation of colours; it's a reflection of your thoughts and emotions. What do you see? What does your creation tell you about your inner world?

As you immerse yourself in the act of creation and reflection, understand that this process is a form of self-care and healing. Art allows you to externalise what words might struggle to convey. It provides a tangible expression of your experiences and a means to navigate the complexities of your emotions.

In the quiet of this artistic meditation, you may feel a sense of release, understanding, or even a newfound perspective on your own journey. Art becomes a bridge between the conscious and the subconscious, offering a gentle pathway toward healing.

As you open your eyes and return to the present, carry with you the insights gained from this artistic exploration. Know that the canvas is not merely a space for art; it's a canvas of resilience, of self-discovery, and of healing.

Understand art with us 

We live in a world where the human spirit, against all odds, can rise above challenges and adversity. No matter what or where, we all come with a little amount of resilience. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from life's setbacks, adapt to change, and keep moving forward. It's not about avoiding stress and adversity but rather facing them head-on and emerging stronger on the other side. Studies show that resilient individuals not only cope better with stress but also have improved mental health outcomes.

Role of Resilience in Mental Health

Reduced Stress Levels: Resilient individuals have been found to exhibit lower cortisol levels, the hormone associated with stress. This ability to manage stress contributes to better mental well-being.

Enhanced Emotional Well-being: Resilience is linked to increased emotional intelligence, allowing individuals to navigate and regulate their emotions effectively. This, in turn, leads to improved mental health.

Positive Cognitive Patterns: Resilient people tend to develop positive thinking patterns, enabling them to reframe challenges as opportunities for growth. This positive mindset has a profound impact on mental health.

Dynamic Adaptability: Resilience in mental health goes beyond just endurance; it involves dynamic adaptability. Instead of rigidly bouncing back to a previous state, resilient individuals show the capacity to adapt, learn, and grow from challenges. This adaptability can foster a more robust and flexible mental health framework, allowing individuals to navigate future stressors with increased efficacy.

Vulnerability Acknowledgment: Resilience includes acknowledging and embracing vulnerability. Rather than suppressing or denying emotions, resilient individuals recognize the importance of processing and understanding their feelings. This acknowledgment of vulnerability fosters a healthier approach to mental health, promoting self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

Community Connection: Resilience extends beyond individual strength to encompass community and social support. Building and maintaining strong social connections contribute significantly to mental well-being. Resilient individuals not only draw strength from their own coping mechanisms but also actively seek and provide support within their social networks. This emphasis on community connection reinforces the idea that mental health is a collective and interconnected experience.

The Science Behind Resilience

Scientific evidence suggests that resilience is not a fixed trait but a skill that can be developed over time. Neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to adapt and reorganize itself, plays a crucial role in building resilience. 

Research indicates that experiences and behaviours associated with resilience can lead to structural changes in the brain. Specifically, the prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making and emotional regulation, undergoes positive alterations, enhancing an individual's ability to cope with stress.

Reflect and Reset: An Exercise 

Take a moment to reflect on a challenging situation you've faced. Consider how you coped, what you learned, and how it contributed to your personal growth. Write down the positive aspects that emerged from that experience.

Now, reset your mindset by identifying one small step you can take today to turn a current challenge into an opportunity for growth. 

Resilience Examples of Sports People 

Despite facing a setback when he was cut from his high school basketball team, Michael Jordan didn't let this disappointment deter him. Instead, he channeled that experience into a powerful motivator, propelling him to become a six-time NBA champion and five-time MVP, solidifying his status as the greatest basketball player of all time.

Serena Williams, a tennis icon, has encountered various injuries and health challenges during her career, including a life-threatening pulmonary embolism in 2011. Despite these adversities, Williams showcased exceptional resilience and determination. Following her recovery, she went on to achieve success by winning multiple Grand Slam titles.

Downside of Resilience 

Excessive resilience, particularly when pursuing unrealistic goals, can be detrimental. The pressure to persist despite unattainable objectives may result in wasted time and energy. It's crucial to recognize when to adjust strategies rather than persisting with false hope, as prolonged pursuit of unachievable missions can lead to meaningless activities and reinforce overconfidence. It's not about quitting, but about wisely redirecting efforts based on past experiences and the effectiveness of current approaches. 

Sometimes, excessive optimism, often mistaken for resilience, can lead to toxic positivity. When taken to extremes, relentless positivity may cause individuals to ignore genuine feelings of grief, worry, or stress. Denying these emotions prevents healthy processing and understanding.

Emotions, whether positive or negative, offer valuable insights into our well-being. Insisting on constant happiness and calmness oversimplifies the human experience, neglecting the importance of acknowledging and addressing a full range of emotions. Forcing relentless happiness comes at a cost, as it suppresses crucial messages and neglects vital information necessary for overall well-being. 

Resilience is sometimes used dismissively, especially by parents who may downplay their children's problems by citing their resilience. The discomfort of addressing a child's distress may lead to inaction and a failure to provide necessary protection. Similarly, resilience can be wielded dismissively towards adults, criticising them for not being "strong enough."

While complimenting someone as resilient may intend to avoid witnessing their suffering, it can also convey a message of indifference, essentially saying, "Deal with it; you can handle it, don't bother me." A more helpful approach would involve recognizing specific resilience components, such as patience or effective communication skills.

Tips to build Resilience

• Prioritize Relaxation: Cultivate a routine that nurtures your mind and body. This could involve establishing a consistent sleep schedule, exploring new physical activities, or engaging in relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation.

• Master Thought Awareness: Develop resilience by avoiding the derailment of negative thoughts. Practice positive thinking and pay attention to your self-talk during challenging situations. If you catch yourself making permanent, pervasive, or personalized statements, consciously correct them in your mind.

• Refine Your Outlook: Use cognitive restructuring to alter how you perceive negative situations. This involves actively changing your thought patterns to foster a more positive mindset.

• Embrace Growth from Mistakes: Every mistake offers a valuable lesson. Embrace the concept of "post-traumatic growth," where crises become opportunities for positive life changes. Learn from failures and use them as stepping stones for improvement.

• Choose Your Response: Acknowledge that everyone faces tough days, but your reaction is within your control. Opt for a calm and logical response to crises, focusing on solutions rather than succumbing to panic and negativity.

• Maintain Perspective: Recognize that while a crisis may seem overwhelming in the moment, its long-term impact may be less significant. Avoid blowing events out of proportion and strive to maintain a balanced perspective.

• Set SMART Goals: Develop effective personal goals aligned with your values. Setting Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound (SMART) goals allows you to learn from experiences and work towards continuous improvement.

• Boost Self-Confidence: Foster a belief in your ability to succeed despite setbacks. Developing confidence empowers you to take risks and persevere, contributing to forward momentum.

• Nurture Relationships: Build strong connections at work and in your personal life. Resilience is bolstered by a robust support network. Seek help when needed, treating others with compassion and empathy.

• Embrace Flexibility: Understand that change is inevitable, and plans may need adjustments. Resilient individuals adapt to evolving circumstances, remaining open to amendments and new opportunities. What strategies resonate with you, and how might you incorporate them into your daily life?